This was written for the "Justin gets fucked with something large... very very large" challenge at bj_action.
A huge thank you to _alicesprings for being such a great beta and holding my hand a lot for this one. Special thanks to xie_xie_xie for her extremely helpful input.
If you haven't read the other entries yet, I can't imagine what you are waiting for. Check them out here: Master List
I have this fantasy, where Brian pushes me just a little further than I think I can go. I've had it in one form or another since way back when I first met Brian.
I'd lay in bed at night jerking off to images of myself on all fours, impaled by a huge dildo. Begging him to stop and push harder at the same time. He'd be patient but demanding. I came all over my hand and Mikey's bed more times than I can count to that train of thought.
Over the years the fantasy morphed. When I first met Brian I had no idea what a huge dildo really was. But I learned.
He caught me once. He came in after work and found me examining a particularly large plug. Not long, but so fucking wide I couldn't imagine taking it inside my body. But I wanted too. I was hard just thinking about it.
It was the first of many times that the fantasy came true. But in no time I'd find myself thinking of him fucking me with something even bigger.
When I was living in LA the fantasy changed again. Connor took me to a party, it was shortly after I had arrived but I was only slightly surprised when I realized that by party he meant orgy. It was certainly more fun then any of the shitty college parties I had been to in Pittsburgh.
It was also the first time I had seen a guy being fisted. I'd seen it in porn before, but never in person. It was like a show that everyone gathered around to watch. The guy doing the fisting took it slow, opening him up with his fingers for a long time before pushing his whole hand inside.
The image of a man wrist deep inside another man is undeniably hot. But what really got me about the whole thing was how intense it was for the guy getting fucked. You could see on his face and from the way his body shook that it wasn't a normal orgasm. There was an intensity there that drew me in.
I found myself thinking about it a lot.
I've never been shy about sex. If that particular trait wasn't already a part of my personality, Brian certainly instilled it in me. But for some reason I kept this fantasy to myself.
The truth was, the idea of it scared me a bit. That is part of what it made it a turn on, but the fear was strong enough that I kept my mouth shut. It was the type of fantasy that I wasn't really sure I wanted to have come to life.
But at night, when I was alone and lonely in LA, I would picture Brian fisting me. We were never in the loft - I guess that was a part of keeping the whole thing from being too real. I would imagine us in a hotel room. He would start with just one finger and probe and tease me for a long time.
I could see myself so clearly. Ass in the air, spread as wide as I can go, dripping with lube and desperate for him to just get on with it already. And Brian would be concentrating. On making me feel good and making sure I was OK. His fingers would be working their way into my body, one after another, stretching me open wider than I had ever been before.
He would describe it to me. Tell me what my own hole looked like around four of his fingers and his thumb what it felt like every time I clenched down on him. He'd tell me that we were getting to the hard part and that I needed to relax and let him in.
Then I'd come. I don't think I ever made it to the part where his whole hand was inside me, I could never hold off that long. I was lonely and missing him and horny, but partially, I think the fantasy stopped there because I couldn't realistically imagine it happening.
And then later I went to New York. I had no idea what missing someone really meant until I lived in New York. I was happy there but I longed for Brian.
Things were different between us by then. We didn't really talk about it, but we were together like we hadn't been before. And yet apart. It was great and it sucked.
Who knows if it was the new place our relationship had gone or just the fact that I was always so desperate for him to fuck me, but one night when I was drunk and we were having phone sex I told him. Told him I wanted him to push his whole hand into my tight little hole. Told him I didn't care if it hurt that I needed it. Needed him to fill me up like that, desperately wanted to go that far.
I'm still not sure I really wanted it and I think he knew that. But it didn't matter on the phone that night.
I liked sharing such a private fantasy with him. Sex doesn't embarrass me, but this did. And I liked it.
And then he talked to me. He verbalized the things I had been thinking about. I just lay back and listened. My body was on fire. A throbbing feeling radiated out from my cock and balls to my belly and my limbs. I felt his words in every part of my body.
I've always loved the way he talks about my body. No matter how things were between us, there has never been any doubt as to how he feels about my body. He loves it.
That night he told me how I would look to him. How beautiful I would be and how much he would love giving my hole the kind of attention it deserves, and fucking loves.
"I want you to fuck yourself on your biggest dildo."
"Uhhh, its not the same. I want more, I want you."
I didn't sound like myself and I didn't feel like myself either.
"I know, but I'm here. I want to hear you."
He did hear me, because when I finally pushed the huge silicone dick in my ass, I didn't know if it was sharing this with him, or the words he had been saying or maybe even just the alcohol, but I couldn't control myself. I moaned wildly and fucked myself frantically.
"Jesus Justin, I need you here."
I heard him come. I came too.
I shoved the dildo in deep and hard. It hurt, and it wasn't nearly enough. But I shook like the guy at the orgy and I knew that with Brian it would never be enough.
And then suddenly one day we were back together. It seemed like a big deal to our friends and family, but to us it was just the place we always knew we were heading.
That didn't however diminish the thrill I felt at being able to touch him whenever I wanted. At being fucked by him whenever I needed.
And then one night it came up again. Only this time he brought it up.
I was lying in bed waiting for him and he walked up onto the bed naked and sat down on my lap. He looked me straight in the eye and didn't blink.
"Do you still think about it."
It had been months since either of us had said anything about it, but I knew exactly what he was talking about.
And that was something I didn't know. I should have guessed he would be into it, but mostly, I just thought about how it made me feel. Thought the entire thing was just up in my head.
"I want to do that to you. If you want."
It made me queasy... and hard.
Brian seemed so relaxed, like there was absolutely no hurry. Which I found calming. When I told him I wanted to do it he said we should just see how it goes, do what feels good.
It all felt good, his tongue pressed against my hole and then wetting me inside, his fingers stroking my prostate, the surprise of cold lube hitting my hole and then being pushed deep into me.
And then the push, the pressure of the widest part of his hand, opening me up more than ever before. Coming inside me. It was exactly what the fantasy had always been, that feeling of being pushed to my limits. I think maybe I heard him moan once he was in, but it was hard to tell because everything was starting to blur. At first he was still, but then I felt his hand move. It was like a whole new thing, not like fucking at all, but instead this completely different place that I had never been before. It felt like electricity inside me.
He talked to me the way I knew he would. He told me that he had never done this to anyone else. Besides fucking raw, which we had been doing for a few months, I didn't get to share too many sexual firsts with him.
In a lot of ways it was just how I imagined it. The way Brian took care of me, the excitement I felt. But some of it I could have never guessed.
The pain didn't surprise me, but I didn't know what it would feel like to have the most intense orgasm of my life, and I certainly had no idea what it would feel like to have one right after another. Orgasms where the pain and pleasure were weaved together so tightly that it was hard to tell them apart.
And I felt vulnerable. Which was something I hadn't felt in a long time. I liked the way Brian tended to me during and after the whole thing.
We slept for a while
"You had your hand inside me."
I couldn't keep the smile off my face, but neither could he.
"And then we went to sleep and you didn't even get to come."
"Are you kidding? Watching you was so fucking hot I touched myself and came all over your back. You were so distracted I'm not surprised you didn't notice."
We've never done it again, or even really talked about doing it again. There are plenty of other things to keep us busy and I guess we finally, successfully, put that fantasy to bed.
I found him, sitting on the edge of my bed, wearing only those little white briefs of his, toy drawer open in front of him, staring at this huge fucking butt plug that is no doubt the cause of his huge fucking hard on.
The little shit is pretty adventurous and completely insatiable. Which may be two of his best qualities. From the minute I walk in the room there is no question where this evening is going.
"You like that?"
"Does this really..."
I snort a little laugh at his expense and head to the shower. I'll give him some more time to think about it.
It doesn't take long for him to join me in the shower.
"I want you to put that in me."
"I know you do."
I turn him around and run my finger down his crack to his hole.
"You think you can take it?"
He doesn't answer me. I feel the wrinkles of skin beneath my fingertips. I know just how that skin will look stretched out around firm silicone. But I don't know how his face will look or what sounds he will make. I'm looking forward to finding out.
"I think you can. I think you'll love it."
I take him to bed. I let him get all comfortable, ass in the air held up by a stack of pillows. And then I tell him to show me more. He looks back at me a little confused.
"Use your hands Justin, spread yourself for me."
He smiles and then buries his face in the pillow before slowly pulling his cheeks apart.
I tell him how beautiful he is because I know he loves that, and because he is.
I touch him lightly with the tip of my tongue, just barely wetting him. Before long I can't help myself from taking long, wet licks, lapping at his hole and listening to him gasp for air. I resign myself to the mess we are going to be making of the bed and let the lube pour down his crack, cold and slippery, over his hole and perineum and balls before soaking into the pillows below. I slide my fingers around in the mess, making him wet all over.
The first finger slides inside him and is followed shortly by the second. I don't really want to give him a chance to get use to the feeling, I want to keep him just past incoherent.
After the third finger I pull free, leaving him feeling too empty. He is still holding himself open for me and I love the sight of his hole stretched out and slick. I pour more lube, watching his body clench down and then open again when it hits him directly on his asshole. I use two fingers to push a little more into him and he rocks back onto my hand.
"Are you ready?"
He nods into the pillow. I find myself wondering what he is thinking, but I let it go.
"Spread your legs a little wider so you don't have to keep holding yourself."
He does and I'm not surprised to see the marks where his fingers were go from white to red.
The first push takes his breath away and makes his back arch.
"Do you want me to keep going?"
He nods again. But I want to give him another second to get used to it.
I run my fingers along the slick stretched skin of his hole. The sound he makes is pure pleasure. I push again. Until the thickest part slips through and it is inside him.
He is panting and squirming.
A breathy yes is all he can get out.
I crawl up his body until I am lying by his face. He opens his eyes to look at me.
"You look so hot like this. I want you to suck my cock with that thing in your ass."
He called me one night. Drunk and giggling and horny. He told me what he was thinking about and it felt like a jolt of electricity had been sent to my cock.
It was something I had never done. Talking about it with him made me want him so bad. Made me want to be with him and touch his skin and suck his cock and fuck his ass.
He begged me on the phone to do things to him that we had never done before. It was like a dam bursting open. It wasn't long after that when I told him how bad I wanted to fuck him raw.
It is crazy to say that one conversation about fisting facilitated the move that brought us back together, geographically speaking, but it did move things in that direction. We would have ended up back in the same place one way or another, that night just sped the process along.
I love to get him wet, too wet. All over so that my hands and fingers and dick slip and slide over smooth skin and rough pubes. I like him messy, covered in come and sweat and lube.
Which is a good thing, because all of that becomes a necessity when pushing an entire hand into a tight asshole.
I know there will be pain, but all I want is to make him feel so fucking good he loses his mind. Making Justin feel good is pretty fucking rewarding.
I start where I have started so many times before, with my mouth on his asshole. I suck and lick and fuck. I don't hurry along because I know that the more relaxed he is, the better.
Justin is good at this, like everything else. He stays still and lets me take care of him. He doesn't tense up and he lets me in.
I try to pay close attention, because I think this is probably a one time deal, and because I want to take care of him, make sure he is all right. But being inside him is like nothing I've ever seen, or ever felt. And when Justin comes I can't help but do the same. He doesn't remember it later, but it was when my come hit his back that he came again. His body just... trembles and doesn't stop for a long time.
His orgasms are beautiful and almost scary in their intensity. Sort of like him.