This is a very short little fic that just came to me the other day while I was working on something else...
A huge thank you to _alicesprings for helping me work out the kinks, I can't say enough about how patient she is!
I didn't know yet that I wanted him back. Or maybe, even with as much as it hurt, I didn't ever really think we would stay apart.
The bomb changed everything. The only thing I could think while I was riding in the back seat of that car, rushing towards god knows what, was that I had lost my chance.
The bashing was my warning and I fucking ignored it. I had gone on taking for granted that he would be there. That I could touch him or talk to him whenever I wanted to. When I needed to.
Sure I had made steps; giving him just enough to keep him around... at least most of the time. And even when he had left, he never really went far.
But a bomb, that's permanent. That's out of my control, out of my hands. And how could I have not known that this could happen again. How could I have ever forgotten that the world isn't fair. That some people take more than their fair share of the hits.
So when I saw him, standing. Walking. Alive. Nothing changed, but nothing was the same either. And I just opened my mouth and finally let it out. For once. For the first fucking time in my life.
And it felt like breathing, so natural and so necessary.
Everything was easy after that. Even the parts where he doubted me. Even the times when we were apart.