|notreallyme10 (notreallyme10) wrote,|
@ 2007-08-20 11:23:00
Post 513 Series
Sidebar to I Quit
Originally posted: 3/17/07 LJ
Notes: Written for the raw fucking challenge.
I’ve thought about it for a long time. I even suggested it once, years ago. He of course treated me like the naïve teenager I was, but it didn’t change how I felt about the idea of his bare cock in my ass.
I never brought it up again, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about it.
It wasn’t something that fit into our lifestyle and I understood that. If I had seriously suggested it he would have thought I wanted it because of what it would mean for our relationship- the commitment it would require. I can’t say there weren’t times I wanted a more traditional relationship, but that wasn’t what this was about.
Silly cliché ideas about romance were about my need for him to admit how he felt for me. Fucking raw had nothing to do with the problems we had. For me, the entire appeal of it was purely sexual. The first time he lubed my hole with my own come and then licked it out I thought I might die. Of course I was eighteen and still desperate for any attention he paid me. To me this was about taking that feeling one step further. It was all about feeling his hot come in my ass. I love the feel of his come on my skin, my face, in my mouth, just the idea of it in my ass made me fucking crazy.
Yeah I have a thing about his come. There is something so pornographic about being smeared in it, sharing the taste of it with him, being marked by his scent. Its not like that with other guys, more often then not I’m looking for a towel to wipe myself clean, but not with him. I don’t think its about love, but really some base physical connection. Even he would never deny the way our bodies react to each other. Though his delicate sensibilities would probably be disgusted by my somewhat overly romantic theory that our bodies were made for each other.
Even after he followed me to New York and we were together and honestly happy, I still couldn’t bring it up. Happy together doesn’t mean that he is any less dense.
So I would be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked when he brought it up. Being my typical drama queen self I freaked out a bit. Once we got ourselves on the same page I don‘t even have the fucking words to describe how I felt. The best I can come up with is horny as hell.
I begged him to fuck me without lube, to slick my hole with his own come. He can’t say no to me, not that he would want to. His dick inside me felt different but not dramatically so. Still the idea of it, of how it must feel to him, of his come inside me was the most erotic feeling I have ever experienced.
And then I felt it. It was wet and so fucking warm.
When he pulled out I slid two of my fingers in in place of him. I wanted to touch it, I wanted him to lick it out of me, I wanted him back inside me, I wanted to do it to him. I felt like I was wound up tighter than I was before we started this. I was already addicted to this feeling.
He watched me fuck my own hand while my mind ran wild with the possibilities. I was so close to coming again which really shouldn’t even be possible at this point. I reluctantly pulled my fingers free and smeared the mess up my body to my mouth. He followed my fingers with his lip and together we sucked my fingers clean.
He told me to come and I did. I was never this easy anymore, but apparently fucking raw brought back the seventeen year old in me.
And then he did the fucking hottest thing I have ever seen in my life. He covered his fingers in my come and fucked his own ass with them. I love watching him touch himself and always have, but in all of these years I have never seen him finger his own ass.
As far as we have come in terms of his comfort level in that department, and believe me we have come a long way, its is unusual to see him so relaxed, so, for lack of a better word, easy about it.
He whispers in my ear and tells me he wants me to feel what he just felt.
When I sink into him I can’t believe it. I knew it would be better, I heard and saw and felt how he reacted to it and yet I had no idea. I never want to even look at a condom again. I can feel everything, every sensation is magnified. What can you say other than tight and hot and wet that will do this feeling justice?
He asks me not to let him come, says he wants to save that for when he is back in my ass.
I wonder if he is just sparing me the embarrassment since we both know I’m not going to last, but that’s not really his style.
I’ve probably said it at least a half dozen other times, and it always feels true, but that had to be the most intense orgasm of my life.
When I pull out, I see my come starting to drip from him and it is the most obscene thing I have ever seen. He is on his knees and he goes to lay down but I hold him in place. He looks back to see what I’m doing and a smile spreads across his beautiful face.
He pulls a pillow under his face and chest getting comfortable and raises his ass a little higher. He is content to just let me stare but I feel a little stupid so I decide to do the next best thing. I lick up the drip I’ve been mesmerized by.
I’m pretty sure we are never getting out of this bed again.